To begin we want to let you know we are not professional Psychologist or
Psychiatrist, we're not even therapist but we do have the experience and knowledge
of our own lifes experiences and what we have learn thru our lifes long journey as
Crossdressers and Transsexuals. We have even taugh some of the professionals
about who we are and why we exist as we do. Some of us have studied
Transgenderism / Crossdressing for many years tryng to learn and understand who we
are and why we are who we are and why we have the desires we have.
We are here to try and help you understand your Transgender Children and try to
help you more fully understand why your children are Transgender. We will help direct
you to Therapist who will provide the needed therepy to help you and your children cope with the Transgender life style and journey that your children will take in their life.
Renaissance of South Eastern Pennsylvania holds meetings every second Friday of each month. Parents are encouraged to attend these meetings to better understand their children's desires and ask questions. You will receive answers from members who have experienced this way of life since child birth and can help you more with what to expect and how to deal with your children's Gender Dysphoria. There is also a section in this web site that has Frequently asked Questions from Mothers of Transgender Children. Please take time to look over these questions. These questions may lead to questions not listed in that section and you can ask those questions at any of our meetings. Below there is also more information that will help you to better understand and direct you to other groups who help provide support and education for Transgender children.
Top 10 tips for Parents and Caregivers
of Transgender Children
TransYouth Family Advocates
1.) Your child does not experience their gender as others may see them.
2.) This is significant and your child takes it very seriously
3.) Continue providing your child unconditional love.
4.) If you feel overwhelmed, get support and accurate information. You are not alone!
5.) This isn't about anything you've done or are doing wrong.
6.) This doesn’t mean your child is gay or lesbian. They may or may not be...sexual orientation is different from gender identity.
7.) The most current research indicates that in most children, gender identity variance is neither an illness nor a psychiatric disorder.
8.) It’s not important right now where your child is going to “end up” related to gender.
9.) Your child has every good chance of growing up to be an exceptional and successful person.
10.) Respect your child’s feelings about their gender identity above all else
So are you a Parent of a Child with Gender Issues.
Did they tell you or did you find out or do you think they might be but you are not sure ?
Is your child a transsexual, crossdresser, transvestite, transgenderist or are you not sure ?
Firstly, your child is still your child, whatever their age !!! They need your love and support
now more than ever.
Secondly, it's not their fault, it's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault. In a society that
polarizes gender into male or female there are bound to be people who do not fit either
category exactly or who cross between the categories.
Thirdly, there are lots of different labels and definitions. Please don't let the labels confuse you or misguide you. Also, be aware that individuals can change their views over time.
If your child is up to age 19 there is a dedicated support group for them and their families called flag.org/eTransParent
For those Parents who think their Children
may have Gender Issues but are not sure:
Your child will have learnt at an early age to hide their gender issues. They will have tried to conform to society's gender models. They may have married and had children of their own. Sometimes the mask slips and they let out signs of their gender dysphoria.
So you think something is not quite right and what should you do about it ?
Do you ask them ???? What would you ask them ??? Suppose you are wrong ??? Suppose you are right ???
General advise to those with gender dysphoria is not to tell others and not to tell their family unless they have to.
Why ? well once the "secret" is out it can never be untold. "Coming out" can have unpredictable consequences for all concerned.
Counseling can be useful, There are therapists around the country with experience of gay, lesbian and transgender counseling. Please do not be put off by the gay and lesbian connection. For many years the gay and lesbian communities have helped and supported the transgender community and share many of the same issues.
If you are worried about your child, worried about what to say to them, or not say to them, counseling can help.
There is an alternative, which is to join a support group, such as Rose's forum which has a dedicated trans people to help. It's an opportunity to find out more about transgender issues and to share your experience with other parents. You are also welcome to join the Beaumont Society ( A UK Transgender group) and the Women of the Beaumont Society. They operate help lines that may be useful for mother's of trans people.
Your child has told you about their gender issues ??
Firstly, don't panic !!!! There is a lot of support and information available for you and your child. The Internet has facilitated the development of local and national support groups, all within reach of your computer.
Secondly, talk to your child !!! This may not be easy, especially if they have spent years hiding this from you. The secrecy and breaking of trust can be very damaging to relationships. Remember that it is not their fault, it's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault. By supporting your child you can help them and yourself.
Thirdly, keep what you child has told you confidential. Keeping secrets is not good, it corrodes trust. However, there is a balance to be found between maintaining confidentiality and disclosure. In general, work on a "need to know" basis. Remember that once you have passed on the information, it can never be untold ....
So what sort of support is available ?? Well it splits into two basic types, with considerable overlap between them !!!
If your child has told you that they are transsexual, which being simplistic means that they want to change their gender permanently and live in their new gender 24/7 then there is pflag.org/eTransParent and ROSE,
( Renaissance of South Easetern Pa. ) specifically for transsexual issues that can help you and point you in the direction of help and support.
If your child is not sure if they are transsexual or if they consider themselves to be a crossdresser or transvestite or a transgenderist or anywhere else in the transgender spectrum then a support group, such as Rose's forum which has dedicated trans people who can help. It's an opportunity to find out more about transgender issues and to share your experience with other parents.
Transgender support Groups will try to do their best to support you even if your child is not transsexual and Rose's forum can help with transsexual issues just as well as non transsexual issues.
Counseling can be useful for you and your child, We will be compiling a directory of therapists in and around the surrounding areas with experience of gay, lesbian and transgender counseling. Please do not be put off by the gay and lesbian connection. For many years the gay and lesbian communities have helped and supported the transgender community and share many of the same issues.
Counseling can not "cure" gender issues but can be useful in helping you to understand your child and the support they need from you.
The transgender "community" covers such a wide spectrum that we can only cover generalities here. For more specific questions, help and support please use the Rose's forum (Renaissance of South Eastern Pa. also know as Rose. ) every second Friday of each month starting at 8:30 PM.
A couple of other links from the USA that may be useful for you:
There are also a number of articles written by parents such as: