Renaissance LSV September Newsletter 2005
Edited by Ellen Davidson
Ellen’s Corner
There will be a meeting of Renaissance LSV on Saturday, September 3, 2005 at the MCC Church on Jefferson St in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. The doors open at 8:00 PM and the meeting is scheduled to begin at 8:30 PM. Please bring something to share for refreshments. Our guest speaker will be from the Harrisburg Bureau of Police to discuss transgender issues. Don’t miss this one.
Summer is almost over, still a few weeks left to get to the beach or to do other things that you wanted to do all summer. The daylight period will be getting shorter and some CDs who are afraid of light and being seen may start to come out of their closets a little earlier. I found an interesting article on the Internet, which follows which deals with how you present yourself in public places.
This was the response by an experienced t-girl to the question why do CDs and some TSs get read in public:
Why I think the question was phrased poorly, I'll choose to treat it
as a genuine question about why someone gets read. First off let me
say almost no one is 100% passable, 100% of the time. Even some
post-op TSs get read sometimes.
Body type -- While most of us are at the edges of "normal" female
height/weight distributions, there _are_ GGs of equal size. Not many,
but they're out there. I'm 5'10" with broad shoulders, yet I've seen
GGs larger than me, both in height and build. So as Michelle said, it
takes more work, but body type alone won't make you unpassable. I go
out regularly and don't get read that much.
The truth is most people are pretty oblivious most of the time, so
it's easier to pass than one might think. Of course it makes a
difference when, where and how far away. I'm obviously more passable
at 30 feet than 3 feet.
Hair, make-up, clothes, shoes -- Gotta distinguish between dressing
for pleasure and dressing for going out. Many CDs look a bit like
teenage girls with "Dynasty" hair. Too much make-up, clothes that are
too short and too tight, heels that are too high, big and poofy hair.
Look around, GGs just don't look like that. On another list, we were
able to help a girl in only a few days go from literally having people
point and laugh at her to blending in with only the occasional read,
just by toning down these things.
Even if you're already doing these things "realistically," it's
important to keep context in mind. GGs rarely go to the mall dressed
the way they'd go to a nice restaurant and vice versa. Also remember
age appropriateness. GGs of a certain age who dress like Brittany
Spears look ridiculous and so will you. It doesn't mean you have to
look matronly -- after all French women look sexy and stylish no
matter what age they are -- but you do need to be aware of how GGs
dress at different ages. If you watch "What Not to Wear" that’s an issue
that frequently comes up, so you can get some advice that way.
Movement -- Clumping around like a guy will give you away. So will
slinking like a runway model. GGs move differently and there's a
variety of websites that can give you tips. But don't overdo it. For
example, just brushing your thighs together as you walk is enough to
give some hip sway without looking like your doing a samba.
Voice -- If you interact with people and sound like James Earl Jones,
it's going to give you away. Let's be honest, developing a credible
feminine voice is hard work, even for TSs for whom it's really
important. Again there's sites with info how to do this. Technically,
the biggest thing you need to do is get rid of the male resonance in
your voice and use the tonal variations that GG use instead of
speaking in a male monotone. You probably also need to raise the pitch
of your voice a bit, but not as much as you think. The other half is
using words in the way that GGs use, which is different than how males
talk. OTOH, while my voice definitely isn't credible for extended
conversation, it does sound somewhat feminine for brief interactions.
But it's attitude that counts more than anything else. Often newbies
are extremely nervous and people pick up on that and give you a close
look. Once you've realized getting read isn't the end of the world,
people usually relax and in turn get read less. And at worse if you're
read and you act like you deserve respect, my experience is you'll
usually get it.
Darla
The PA Renaissance Faire at Manheim is in operation now on the weekends through October. This is a great opportunity to get out in public in costume. I have participated several times in Renaissance dress as a wench and as a witch. I have always had a favorable response and some fairgoers thought that I was part of the cast for the dramatic event. It is always a lot of fun and I urge you to try it. Is anyone interested in getting a group together to go to the Renaissance Faire? http://www.parenaissancefaire.com/ Halloween is coming up and it is not too soon to start thinking about costumes. It is a fact that more CDs come out and dress for the first time at Halloween. I have often heard of Halloween being referred to as our time of year. “Bitches Christmas”. Is anyone interested in having a Halloween Party for Renaissance LSV? Alexxus Kane is still hoping to run a drag queen pageant for Renaissance members. This would be a part of the National Illusion pageant system to be held in the next several months. Is anyone interested? Performing in drag shows can be a lot of fun. Angela, our Treasurer will have SRS this month and we wish her well.
See you at the meeting,
Ellen Davidson
Program Director
Cathy’s Chatter
Due to a stupid mistake on my part, I missed last month’s meeting. Hence, I have nothing to note. In an effort to save a friendship sometime back, I wrote the following essay. Since I have written it, numerous individuals have read it and found it quite good. All of us have such a letter, on paper or in our heads. I presented it to an English professor who was curious about what I am. Her first response, and I quote, “WOW!!” I now present it for the rest of you to read. Admittedly, I know that you all know what it contains, but perhaps you will enjoy reading it anyway. Next month I will report on our what Harrisburg’s finest have to say. At this point, I will lead you to my essay or to the rest of the newsletter if you choose. See you in September.
Cathy
If you are reading this short essay, it means I have come out to you as my true self. Please continue without comment until you finish. I understand the shock you feel of my disclosure. Maybe you feel betrayed and even angry at this point. All I ask is, before you pass judgement on me, that you understand what it is you are passing judgement on. I have been going through this every single day of my life for the last forty years.
Imagine if you will, that the day you were born, a bell was ringing in your head. You are a baby and have many other things to wonder at, so it loses your attention. Now fast forward in years to the ages of 8 or 9. By now, the bells have your attention. Something is not right. Until now, you thought everyone heard them ringing. You come to realize that is not so. You find it in your best interest not to tell anyone. You keep it inside you and hope that someday they stop ringing. Then you discover that if you do certain things, the ringing stops. You also discover that this is not acceptable to others, so you hide that too. It makes you feel normal, so you continue doing it and pray everyday to be this way all the time. You resent it when you have to stop and the bells come back. Now in addition to the ringing, you have anger and frustration to deal with. This follows you into adulthood. As you grow older, you begin reading everything you can get your hands on about bells. That is when you discover, you are not the only one who hears bells. There are others. The problem is, they, like you, think only they hear them. This makes them hard to find and talk with. A rare few have come forward and told others about the bells. They are labeled as freaks and undesirables, then outcast from society. You however, understand their feelings. Since you do not want to be labeled, you keep it in, keep on praying, and hope it will go away. You also continue to research and read all you can find about bells, hoping that some tidbit of information will help you get rid of them easily. Through it all, you act like everyone else, doing what others do, so that absolutely no one knows you hear these bells. It is hard, and you continue to practice this thing that you learned in childhood to make the ringing stop. Your anger, however, gets harder to control. Frustration wells up inside of you, because you know the bells are not going to stop ringing.
At middle age, the bells are getting louder and louder. You are at a point that you cannot take much more. You know what you need to do, so you seek out help. Just maybe, there is something you overlooked in your research to stop the ringing. Of course, as you knew all along, that is not so. There are only two ways to stop the bells. The first option is to commit suicide. A bit drastic, but it would work. Naturally, you consider it. You may even try it, but stop yourself. It is a heavy price to pay, and depending how you go about it, a bit messy. Then there is what you would write in a letter to everyone to explain your actions. After you have done this deed, everyone will say that, had they known, they would have tried to help you. Then this other matter pops up, when you show up before God, without an invitation, it would not be a very good meeting. So, you explore the other option.
This too is not without a price. When you start to tell people about the bells, you risk losing everything. Your significant other, your family and friends, even your way of making a living. At this point, you rethink option one. Either way, the bells will be gone, forever. For the first time in your life, you will feel normal. At least with option two, you are still around. As a matter of fact, your life will do a complete turnaround, because, you finally got rid of those bells. The price you paid was very dear. You have pretty much lost everything you have lived and worked for. The friends and family who claimed they would have helped you, had they known, no longer consider themselves, your friends or family. So, you must start rebuilding a new life from scratch. Of course, because you stopped the ringing that only you heard to begin with, no one will understand why you did this. Your new found life will be filled with prejudice, labeling, bigotry, hate, and discrimination. This is all aimed solely at you. You are now one of those social outcasts. To make it harder, you will face all of this alone. A daunting task indeed. The bells have stopped and are totally out of your life. You are the happiest you have ever been in your life, despite all you have been through. Yet, there is no one to share it with. Everyone that meant anything to you in your life, is gone. Quite an experience if you think about it.
Now, replace those bells with the gender you are born with.(what your mind says you are, male or female) Does it match your sex? (what your body says you are) For most people, it does. That is all they know. For others, it doesn’t match. The bells are always there. This is what it feels like to be a transsexual.
So you go most of your life hiding the fact and going about life as others think you should. You become a great show person. If they gave out Oscar’s for life, you would surely be a winner. Everyone assumes you are the person you portray yourself to be. Naturally, when you disclose that the act is over, they are shocked and dismayed. To them, the show must go on!
Think carefully about what you have just read for a moment. I do not ask anything from you, but an understanding of who I truly am. Even if you walk away from me, have respect for the courage it took to come out with this, in spite of all I have dealt with to this point, and what I will have to deal with as the future unfolds.
Cathy Dec. 16, 2004
CALENDAR – September 2005
Fri – Sept 2 – Miss Gay Mid Atlantic America 2006 Pageant – Velvet Rope 8 PM
Sat – Sept 3 – Renaissance LSV Meeting – MCC Church, Harrisburg 8 PM
Sat – Sept 10 – Drag Show – “Best Little whore House in Reading” – Red Star 10:45 PM
Sun – Sept 11 – Video Karaoke with Mr. B – Velvet Rope 9 PM
Fri – Sept 16 – Country Dance Night – Altland’s Ranch 9 PM
Sat – Sept 17 – Drag Extravaganza – Club Z, Williamsport 10:30 PM
Sept 17 – Cabaret show – Velvet Rope 9 PM
Sept 30 – Oct 2 – 5th Anniversary Party – Velvet Rope – no cover charge
